Fade To Grey

(An imaginary interview with Sir J.I. on iOS 7)

S:  Hi, J. How are you?

J:   Hi Steve, thanks, but not too good today. My stomach feels awful.

S:  Oh, what’s wrong?

J:  What’s wrong? I’ve lost my sunglasses.

S:  Your sunglasses? Why do you complain? We have November now and it’s mostly cloudy? Was it an expensive one or a beloved heirloom?

J:  No, none of this. But let’s leave at this.

S:  C’mon, say what’s on your heart …

J:  Sure?

S:  Sure!

J:  I hardly dare to say, but it’s iOS 7!

S:  Oh, honestly? I’m totally surprised. Why? What’s the matter?

J:  It’s a long story.

S:  Go ahead!

J:  Ok. Do you know my office?

S:  How should I?

J:  From my videos of course.

S:  Ah, the white one? This is your office?

J:  Yeah. White’s my all-time favorite. Everything in this room is white. White desk, white chair, white bin with white paper in it, white door …

S:  White windows, too?

J:  Windows? This is Apple not Microsoft!

S:  What?

J:  Forgive me, I’m just kidding.

S:  Ha ha.

J:  No, my room has no windows. It’s a whiter white with the indirect lighting we’ve installed. It’s perfect white and I love it. As you know, I’ve designed white computers …

S:  … and the silver ones …

J:  Yes, the silver ones look white in my room, too.

S:  A whiter white, I know.

J:  What? Ok, where had I got to?

S:  White!

J:  Yes, white computers, white power supplies, white earpods, and …

S:  And ?

J:  You’re having me on! Right?

S:  A little revenche … .

J:  Ok, ha ha.

S:  Of course you mean the white iPhone.

J:  Yes, and the white iPads and iPods and some others.

S:  All white now.

J:  Steve used to say:  One day you’re going to become snow-blind. And then he and Scott took me out to a park with a big green lawn, it was like a carpet.

S:  Where did you go?

J:  Don’t remember. But it looked like the gras covered hills from the XP wallpaper.

S:  Windows?

J:  Yes, this time it was windows.

S:  Understand.

J:  Scott was overwhelmed by this impression of pure green and I think this was his main influence and the origin of the green felt in some of our Apps.

S:  Ah, ok, and since then you love green, too?

J:  No, for heaven’s sake not! I was lucky to reach my office again. But this was a lesson for me.

S:  You learned what?

J:  To wear sunglasses. I bought them the same day. And now, when I leave my office, I immediately put these sunglasses on.

S:  But that shouldn’t be a reason for bellyache, shouldn’t it.

J:  Surely not!

S:  But what is it then?

J:  At the beginning of last year I got deeply depressed or, one might say, even lost. Even in my white room I felt dark deep in my heart. So, one day, Tim took me for a ride to visit a local kindergarten. There, together with the children, we drafted some new fresh icons with watercolor. We really enjoyed ourselves for hours. As we left, the children gifted us with some watercolor paint-boxes and back in my office I experimented with the colors and just then I had the initial idea for iOS 7.

S:  I still do not understand. Come to the point now.

J:  The sunglasses. Understand?

S:  No.

J:  I’ve done the whole iOS7 design with my sunglasses on. I was so enthusiastic that I forgot to put them off after returning from the kindergarten.

S:  And now?

J:  This morning – as I came to my office – I was dumbfounded about the color of the iOS 7 icons. I asked my assistant if there was something wrong with my devices. But then, like a bolt out of the blue, I realized that my sunglasses were away and
that the icons were, no, that the icons ARE ugly as hell. But that’s not all: The whiteness in iOS 7 is so dazzling, it really hurts my eyes without my sunglasses on.

S:  And how will you react on this belated insight? Change iOS 7?

J:  Oh no, we cannot do that, we cannot admit such a fault. But maybe we will introduce a new sun-protective touch screen with our next devices. So you can automatically fade everything to grey.

S:  No white anymore?

J:  We are all getting older. And tomorrow I’m going to buy new sunglasses.

S:  J., thank you very much for this interview. Bye!

J:  Thank you, bye.


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